Family Therapy

Using Emotionally Focused Family Therapy (EFFT) I can help you learn to manage the conflicts that feel like they are tearing your family apart. Emotionally Focused Family Therapy begins focusing first on where the immediate pain is in the family and the underlying patterns that have formed from this pain. I’ll help the person who is hurt, angry, feeling alienated or misunderstood to be heard by those that they feel have hurt them. I’ll also help the other members of the family to express exactly what it is that is causing them to upset or unhappy. You’ll begin to understand why people respond to each other the way that they do. I’ll create an environment that will support everyone in the family to understand their own triggers, perceptions and behaviors as well as to begin to develop tolerance and understanding of the feelings and triggers of the other members. Together we’ll slow things down so that you can each develop curiosity about the other family members and learn how to ask for your needs to be met in healthy ways.

Whether you are a parent, child, sibling, or part of a blended family there is hope that the negative patterns that have developed over time can be changed. By developing an understanding of the interaction cycles that keep your family stuck in a state of distress I’ll help you to develop skills to communicate clearly with the others. Everyone will learn to understand the significant emotions that drive the dynamics of the family as well as learn to restructure the interactions between parent and child/children, siblings, and extended family members.

I’ll be sure that each member of the family feels respected and able to speak their truth. Sessions will not be used to find blame or attribute the upsets to one person in particular. Together we’ll establish firm guidelines of behavior both in and outside of the session so that no one feels that they are being attacked or invalidated. Relationships that have been damaged can be healed and the dynamics within the system can be re-created so that all members feel happy and valued.

While it is ideal for all members of the family to be present sometimes people will refuse to come. There is still much goodness that comes for the people that attend sessions to learn to relate in more positive and healthy ways. Those in attendance will come to understand how to get in touch with their emotions and express them in useful ways that will begin to soften the exchanges within the family. When that happens the people who refused to attend the sessions may come to trust that family counseling sessions are not meant to blame and put people on the defensive but to help each member to connect with the others in ways that support a healthy and happy family system.

Family Counseling Can Change the Dynamics of Your Family! I’m quite drawn to family therapy because of the powerful restructuring that I’ve witnessed with families that I’ve worked with. Family members learn about the often-hidden dynamics within the family and discover the patterns of behavior and perceptions that have caught the family in an unhappy cycle. With help, families can develop effective patterns of communication that allow them to truly show each other the love and respect that they feel.

The answer depends on the specific issues and how deeply entrenched they are.  Generally, it takes 3-4 months to understand the feedback loops between members of the family and everyone’s part in the negative dynamics in the relationships.  Discovering new ways of understanding each other will move therapy along more quickly. Breaking negative communication and reactive cycles takes time but families often experience a calming of tensions after a few sessions. 

It is also important to remember that within a family there are multiple relationships.  Each family member has a relationship with each of the others.  These relationships rarely move in a straight line and will bounce between different members.

Please be aware that if there is any sort of trauma in the family the work needs to move more slowly.  Trauma can be from the past or something that has just occurred to upset the sense of connectedness in the family.  Trauma is a silent trigger that can start a family off on a negative pattern or feedback loop.  If there was a traumatic incident between 2 or more family members, I will begin by focusing on those people so that we can begin to heal that dynamic.  Other members will be added once this healing has occurred.

Family counseling sessions are 90 minutes.  If requested, family sessions can be extended to several hours with breaks as necessary.

Longer sessions can be necessary if there’s a great deal of reactivity or if there’s been a recent incident that needs more time to understand and work through.  Not everyone can tolerate working for such a long time, it is best for us to discuss whether extended sessions are right for your circumstance. 

It’s advisable to meet weekly in the beginning so that some momentum can be built.  We are working to stem the backwards slide into old patterns that can sometimes happen between sessions.  As trust and connection build it’s possible to explore meeting less often without slowing the progress that has been made.

Prior to coming in for your first session you will each fill out an intake form and an information and consent form. Our first session will begin with a brief review of the information and consent form, most especially the section about confidentiality and exceptions to confidentiality.  We will also build a set of guidelines that will be respected during each session.

* Please note that I cannot begin therapy unless I have received a signed information and consent form from each family member.

I begin by having each person tell me why they are coming for therapy and what their goals are.   I tend to ask quite a few questions to get a background of the relationships and a bit about the family background and how that impacts the relationship between family members.  It generally takes several sessions before there is a rhythm to our work and a sense of safe and structure.

Fees will be discussed in our initial phone consultation.  Payment is due at each session and can be paid by Zelle.  You can use my email catherine@catherine-morris.com or my phone # 650 269-8745 to set this up.

I don’t take insurance, and your insurance company will consider me “out-of-network”. I will supply you with a super bill that includes the codes necessary for your claim to be processed.  Please check with your insurance provider to see what is covered under your mental health benefits family therapy.   Please note: Insurance companies will cover family therapy.