Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy

Once Dr. Johnson began to help couples understand what was driving their reactivity, she saw remarkable change that remained even after couples left her office.  EFT is a highly researched, effective and evidence-based theory. EFT has been validated by over 40 years of empirical research. A short summary of EFT research can be found in Resources.

How EFT Works

When something happens in our relationship, and we can’t find a safe, loving way to stay connected to our partner we go into a state of emotional pain and alarm. Our brain moves into survival mode. We automatically respond by protesting or withdrawing (fight or flight) even when we aren’t aware of our fear or panic. Partners will then respond with their own protest or withdrawal. Each person is impacted both physiologically and emotionally as this dynamic creates a negative feedback loop.

Couples are helped to create nurturance, love, empathy and connection in their relationships. They learn to identify the feedback loop or cycle that they are caught in, the emotions underlying their reactions and their own unconscious part in the cycle. Problems are reframed in terms of attachment needs. Couples learn to regulate their emotions and send clear signals of their needs as well as how to respond in a healthy way to the signals that are sent to them.

Once we can send clear signals, we tend to pull our partner closer when we are in need. We reach for our partner to help us solve the emotional upset that we are feeling. By working together couples create the safety, trust and support necessary for a strong relationship. EFT is a collaborative, experiential model that encourages couples to be involved in the deconstructing of the negative cycle and the creation of a new, secure relationship.

Through years of research EFT has grown to include therapy for individuals and families. The fundamentals for these areas are much the same as those for couples. There is a focus on the negative cycle and the emotions and needs that are driving the feedback loop. With individuals the cycle runs within us — our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. In families there are many cycles that exist between family members that become intertwined and can be masked by secrecy and shame.